


Suffocate in the Smoke of a Forest Fire

by Cant_We_Just_Dance



Series: Laflams Alex is ignored [3]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Breakups, Fire, Forest Fires, M/M, Multi, Poetic, Too Many Metaphors, overly poetic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-17 05:21:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11844774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cant_We_Just_Dance/pseuds/Cant_We_Just_Dance
Summary: No one could ever be able to convince Alexander that there was anything that burned more brilliantly than a forest fire.The trees bursting into red-hot flames as pine needles danced in embers and ash. Each kiss of the wind a silent promise of the charred final product, which would leave green hills a mess of browns and dead darkness. Smoke would cloud the lungs of anyone who dared travel through, and it would seem as though oxygen had been pulled away from the world in those few moments of suffocating bliss in between life and death.





	Suffocate in the Smoke of a Forest Fire

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is @jamisahivemind from tumblr! Make sure to comment, kudos, and hang out with me over on the hellsite!

No one could ever be able to convince Alexander that there was anything that burned more brilliantly than a forest fire.

The trees bursting into red-hot flames as pine needles danced in embers and ash. Each kiss of the wind a silent promise of the charred final product, which would leave green hills a mess of browns and dead darkness. Smoke would cloud the lungs of anyone who dared travel through, and it would seem as though oxygen had been pulled away from the world in those few moments of suffocating bliss in between life and death.

Words would swirl through the clouded air and twirl down onto their desired destination, having departed from Alexander's mind. Thoughts would form in swaths of heavy smoke, dark and daunting as they rose from scattered ashes of shattered pieces of his mind. Shards of glass would cut the insides of his eyes until tears spilled out instead of blood, far too often to be considered alright.

Each time he cried his smoky tears, eyes fogging up with thick darkness, Lafayette stood still, as if he didn't notice. It took a long time for Alexander to realize that Lafayette truly hadn't noticed it. Standing still, watching on passively, as Alexander allowed his own words to choke the life out of himself. When the forests allowed wind to blow through, carrying embers that would lead to demise, Alexander couldn't bring himself to put out the flames.

Their love had grown up through the ground, roots set steady as their soft whispers and promises reached toward the sky above them. John would pull both of them close and press warm kisses to their faces as gently as possible. He would lay in between Lafayette and Alexander and make quiet jokes about the world around them, always trying to avoid the cutting, judgemental remarks of others.

It was never cold in their home. Not during long summer nights spent watching bad movies and trading kisses. Nor while the wind howled with icy power outside their apartment, blizzards twisting the world into a powdered sugar-covered mockery of the city that flowed with a million lights. None of those lights were stars, though.

Alexander would whisper some nights, of the constellations he'd seen back home on Nevis. Orion, Ursa Major, or whatever shapes he'd made up and given names to. Small fragments of stories would form in his mind and float out into their cloudy night sky that they shared, and would piece together into brightly lit clouds.

And when John had first began contributing to the stories, he'd thought nothing of it. After all, it had been two years since they'd gotten together, and it would only be natural for John to develop an interest in the stories that Alexander told them during sleepless nights. He'd found it charming, told himself to get over the slight pull of jealousy growing in his mind like ivy that twisted and contorted it's vines until it stretched along the cobblestone walls of a castle. They had already set down roots together in the world that barely welcomed them, and it would be of no use to cultivate an altogether different kind when what they had already was perfectly fine.

Soon enough, it stopped being perfectly fine.

John found his way to the center of the bed each night, encased in Lafayette's arms and seemingly unaffected by Alexander's warm embrace. Lafayette would kiss Alexander on the cheek when he returned from a business trip, instead of the kiss to the lips that John always received. Days would pass between the times Lafayette held Alexander in his arms, soft and strong and oh so incredibly safe. Nights like would pass where the bedroom door was closed before Alexander could make it to bed with his lovers.

The sun would set, and the sun would rise, and no matter how gorgeously the colors of the sky were painted across the atmosphere, it was all simply shades of grey, to Alexander.

John had always been the fiery passion in their relationship, after all. Burning and reforming so quickly that one could never truly understand its form. Each shade of scarlet blended into orange and gold, scattering the sky with stars. Embers of the flame would flow upwards until each sparkle seemed to be a supernova, far off into the universe.

Lafayette, tall and strong, had branched off into any new thing he could find, twisting his lovers along with him. But Alexander had fallen from the skies in shades of crimson and burnt umber, trying and failing to hold on to the last glimmers of life that had been so abundant in the beginning.

When the flames had ended, the dust was settled, and the smoke was cleared, Alexander wished he was still able to cry. They had sat him down, spoken with calm, quiet words, ones they had obviously rehearsed many times before.

What did I do wrong? Alexander wanted to ask, the words easily forming on his lips but not finding their way into his voice.

What did you do wrong? Lafayette and John felt the need to inquire, yet did not have the nerve or will to ask.

Unspoken words hung heavy as the tension between them, so accustomed to being ignored that once it was confronted, none of them were sure how to handle it.

But Alexander figured that it only made sense, that Lafayette and John didn't want him- didn't need him.

They were a forest fire, burning bright and shining with untold brilliance. Flames licked at their heels as they tried to run from their problems, until they were encased in fire.

For a long time, Alexander had thought he was the smoke, choking out the bits of life that were still left in John's sparks and Lafayette's branched off thoughts.

But now?

Now he knew better.

Now, he knew that he wasn't the smoke that clouded and suffocated everything that had tried to love. He was the oxygen, that was used up by the growing forest fire until he was stretched too thin, and he had nothing more for them to take. 


End file.
